It's Time
by Crazy PurpleSage
Summary: “I didn’t say that.” The man shook his head, “I just said that I still love him. And hate him at the same time.” Some decisions are harder than others.


_Disclaimer: I don't own NARUTO, the manga/ anime. However, I do own Naruto and Itachi the people. . _

_Thanks to Imperial Mint. :D Beat that! :P _

_And Happy Birthday to Gaara! =D Who knows how old he's turning? *shrugs* _

**It's Time **

"He's an asshole."

"I know."

"He's left you and the entire village for selfish power driven reasons of revenge."

"I know."

"He's made clear his hatred of all of Konoha and his intent to destroy all those who get in his way."

"I know."

"He plans on _destroying _all of Konoha. The village _you _swore toprotect with your life."

"I know."

"And you're just going to go back on all that, and what?" Sakura walked closer to the ANBU's desk, hands on her hips and a scowl on her face. "Welcome him in with open arms to pillage and plunder as he pleases? Remind him to leave none alive when he's done?"

"I didn't say that." The man shook his head, a somber expression settling calmly in his face. All the same, her words were making his fingers twitch involuntarily under the desk.

"Well what do you think you're saying? Cause that's what it sounds like!" she threw her hands into the air; exasperated.

"I just said that I still love him." He looked down, refusing to meet her outraged, questioning glare.

"Exactly, you-"

"And hate him at the same time." He looked up and over to the window, out on a currently peaceful Konoha resting comfortably in their beds for the next day ahead.

_Silence. _

"When I hear of his plans, what he's done, who he's killed, how he's aligned with the Akatsuki, killed Itachi, and become so filled with hatred that he doesn't know how to live without the feeling," he took a deep breath, letting his own words sink in and find solid meaning in his heart. "I feel my own deep-seated hatred for him. For his stupidity, selfishness, and new level of bastard he reaches each time with each decision.

"And yet, I just look at a picture of Team Seven, or even when I see his picture from the Bingo Book, or when we met all those years ago after the explosion, and I just fall in love with him all over again." A painful longing stretched at his face despite his attempts to keep the sadness out of his voice and expression. It filled the room with reluctant, nostalgic memories of the past, promises long broken, and words that still echo with each new breath.

"Maybe I still love who he used to be, and am so single minded that even when I look at him now and hear all these stories, I can't help but look past what he has become. I just don't want to. It's like my mind is creating this alternate reality of denial wherever he's concerned."

"Naruto," Sakura sighed helplessly. Pursing her lips, she seemed to be biting back the next words that longed to fall from her tongue, but which she knew would do no good.

Naruto turned to her, but spoke as though she wasn't there.

"I know what my duties are, and I plan on carrying them out in whatever way possible to save Konoha. I just have to get around my heart and shut it down…"

'_Forever,' _he finished silently to himself. Because he knew that if it did truly come down to killing Sasuke, which he knew it would, that it would be even more painful to let his heart out again after that fact and try to deal with the lost.

It was a Catch 22, and yet everyone around him could somehow find hope in the fact that Sasuke would soon be dead by Naruto's hand. His feelings were completely disregarded, or tactfully ignored, for their own sake. While he couldn't really blame them, he still felt like the little boy that didn't fit in anywhere. Nothing had changed. Maybe at one point he had friends and felt good about who he was. But it's always that one friendship. The one that gives you incredible happiness and contentment, only to leave an aching pain when it is all taken away so suddenly- leaving an intangible longing that only one person can see or feel to make it better. And yet that one person is the cause of it all, and you know that they're never coming back.

Naruto had to believe it was because of the feeling that his mind had devised this false hope, a fake springtime to look forward to as he trudged around in the winter. But this bottomless hope would have to come crashing down soon when he fulfilled his ANBU duties.

The very position that he had worked so hard for to achieve, with the intent to bring Sasuke home, turned on him. It made him become a servant for the village; sent to kill the very person he was trying to save in the first place. It was messed up, twisted, and sick. He should have known that the advisors' minds would have thought of something this cruel.

They owned his soul. They knew at least one of the Kyuubi's weaknesses, and would make sure that Naruto succeeded.

Naruto clenched his fists in rage. Oh, how he hated them. How he hated this village that kept him cage; shoving a mask in his hands, telling him to wear it or else, and then ridiculing him for it.

He wanted to do something; to show them all that he was not their pet monkey made to perform tricks. But the fact that they did have him on a leash, able to pull him back if he went too far and watch him whimper back in pain, did keep him from carrying out his own wishes.

No one else knew how well Naruto was controlled and lashed to the foundations of the village itself. And yet, when he sat at home, contemplating how he would escape someday and make his life all his own, his love for the village kept tugging at his heart and clouding his thoughts of escape. It was confusing how two such contradicting feelings could exist at the same time. Yet, wasn't that the same predicament he was experiencing with his feelings towards Sasuke?

"Naruto?"

He raised his eyes, reregistering Sakura's presence in the room, and lifted an eyebrow questioningly.

"It's time."

Naruto sucked in a deep breath and nodded. It was indeed time. But for what, he didn't know yet.

­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­_________~~~~~~~~~~~-------------___________________

Please review!


End file.
